Wife, daughter, mother to four angels, friend, and teacher
After two years of infertility and miscarriages, my husband and I found ourselves expecting yet again. We were both hesitant to jump for joy because we had been down this road before and it hadn’t ended well. As time went on and we were assured things were “perfect” at our numerous ultra sounds, we allowed ourselves to start celebrating. On January 14th all of that changed. At our routine anatomy scan, a specialist was brought in and it was explained to us that our baby had a severe heart problem, several markers for Down syndrome, and suspected renal development issues. I was 19 weeks pregnant, heartbroken and scared. Full story.
Nonprofit sector worker, mother of one beautiful living daughter, fitness enthusiast, should be the mother of a baby boy.
I was laid off three days before my ultrasound, and I was mad; who will hire a woman five months pregnant? I wanted another daughter; I thought it would be really special if my daughter had a sister close to her age to grow up together. I’m a health nut and pregnancy sits well with me; who would expect a problem? It’s a boy! No sister. Oh, well. The doctor took a long time to come in after the mid-pregnancy ultrasound. The baby’s heart doesn’t look right. I already made you an appointment with a specialist. Full story.
Wife, daughter, teacher, animal-lover, mommy to an angel.
My husband and I had only been married six months when we found out we were expecting our first child. As we approached our one year wedding anniversary, we eagerly anticipated the birth of our baby girl just four months later. A routine anatomy scan done at 22 weeks revealed problems with the baby’s spine and skull. My heart cracked and broke into a thousand pieces. We were faced with making the choice to end our very much-wanted pregnancy due to Spina Bifida, Hydrocephalus and Arnold Chiari Malformation. Full story.
Mother of two boys, researcher, animal lover, born and raised in Texas and always a Texan at heart.
Fifteen weeks pregnant, my bags were packed for my five-night business trip to London. I had just stepped out of the shower, barely covered with a towel, when I got the call: “Unfortunately I have some bad news for you. Your baby has trisomy 21.” My mind was swimming…which one was that? Was that the one where they die right after they are born? Or that other one I think is also fatal? No, it was Down syndrome. I was in a state of shock as I discussed when to do an amniocentesis for confirmation with the genetic counselor. My husband walked up the stairs as I blankly spoke into the phone. He took one look at my face, and said, “The baby?” I nodded. “Downs?” I nodded again. He raised his arms high and then fell to the floor. Tears started streaming down my face. There must have been a mistake. This could not be happening to us. Full story.
Suburban mom. Former paralegal. Surgeon’s wife. Animal lover. Atheist. My over-reaching list of ambitions includes dreams of becoming a writer, gourmet chef, marathon runner/cyclist, and world traveler. Keenly aware of my charmed life, each day I am grateful. Life has given me more than I ever dreamed and expected…except a 2nd child. Still learning the lesson of acceptance, I keep moving forward. I’m stronger than I used to be.
July, 2006, my world stopped. A routine 21 week ultrasound revealed our 2nd daughter, Emily, could have a form of dwarfism. A second ultrasound confirmed Thanatophoric Dysplasia, a “100% fatal” condition. The name literally means “death bearing,” characterized by short limbs, a narrow ribcage, and clover-shaped skull. Emily had all of these. Because her ribcage could not accommodate her lungs, she could not process amniotic fluid. I developed polyhydraminos, putting me at risk for placental hemorrhage and possible death. Our perinatologist recommended we terminate the pregnancy. We were handed a slip of paper with the number of a doctor who “helps people in your situation,” and were escorted out the back door into the parking lot. We were shattered. For us, it wasn’t a choice. A week later, we drove two hours to a clinic, and prepared to say goodbye to our baby. Full story.
Mother of two, wife of 10 years, chronically infertile. A family of my own became my source of constant grief and obsession, overshadowing everything in my life, my marriage, and my career as a graphic designer and interior decorator.
After a harrowing and devastating shock of soul-crushing, intense grief, and the urgency of a lifetime to find out everything we could about our son’s diagnosis, we talked to as many people as we could, and pursued every possible option. We ultimately decided our very much loved, very much wanted son should not live under the medical interventions and lifelong illness that awaited him, and that we had an obligation to our oldest child to not consign him to a lifetime of caregiving, as I had experienced with my own mother. Full story.