Mom of three girls (two on earth and one in heaven). Married for 15 years to a fiscal conservative. Daughter of an evangelical Christian. Raised Catholic. Suburban, stay-at-home mom. Recreational runner. Coffee lover. Novice gardener. Advocate for reproductive choice. Owner of pregnancy termination-related support boards on Babycenter.com. Editor of “Our Heartbreaking Choices.”
In 2003, I was joyously expecting my second baby. The pregnancy progressed smoothly through the first five months. As we went in for our routine anatomy scan at 20 weeks, we were prepared (and anxious) to find out the baby’s gender. What we weren’t prepared for was to hear bad news. After a high resolution ultrasound, my husband and I were told that our baby’s lungs weren’t developed, and due to extra organs in her chest, would never have a chance to develop. We were faced with a choice–to carry our baby girl for another four months and watch her likely suffocate to death at birth, or to let her go early. We heartbreakingly decided to end the pregnancy at 21 weeks gestation via an induced labor. I never, EVER thought I would need an abortion. Full story.
Your story has touched my heart. I too am a Catholic, and have been rocked by being induced at 22 weeks. My sweet little girl had full trisomy 18 among many many other horrible issues that could not be fixed. I am really struggling with everything. I am now 5 months out, and having a hard time finding peace, and a place where I fit. I think that maybe giving back will help, but I’m not sure how to help other women on our journey.
Thank you.
I bow profoundly to your courage and commitment
in creating this forum, and in telling your stories.
I cannot imagine anything showing more clearly and movingly
how individual, complex and unpredictable each of our lives is.
It is impossible for anyone to know beforehand
what such a crisis and decision will mean for them,
much less for anyone else.
You have taken this most difficult and sacred matter
from the public halls of ego-driven debate
to the private holy place of awe,
where we can only honor and love one another.
Thank you.